Random Thoughts from the JoeKorNer


Introduction

I have been happily retired for over I am happy to say that in that time I have managed to not annoy Laurie too much! But, just to prove that I may have entirely too much time on my hands, here are some random thoughts and insights that I developed over the years. Some of them might have come from others, some may be combined or expanded. So sit back and enjoy!


Finance

A penny saved is ....
not worth very much

If you have significant cash left over at the end of the month...
You either overlooked a big bill
or
Your car or house will need a big repair

The lottery is a TAX
on the
Mathematically Challenged


Work

Those who can ... Do
Those who can't ... Teach
Those who can't teach ... Consult
Those who can't consult ... Audit!


Bosses

The reward for good work ...
Is more work!
The reward for bad work ...
is big raise
The reward for screwing up the project
is a big promotion!

Decisions are made by who have time, but no talent . . .
Talented people are too busy fixing the problems made by those who have time.
Dilbert - by Scott Adams - 10/26/2007


Fellow employees

Lead ...Follow ...

or get the HECK out of the way!

A SPECIALIST is one who learns
more and more
about less and less
until he knows
Everything about
NOTHING

A GENERALIST is one who learns
less and less
about more and more
until he knows
Nothing about
EVERYTHING

There are two types of people in the world:
Those who can count . . .


Support positions

A consultant is very good at looking at your watch
and telling you the time

An auditor is someone who looks at your watch and tells you that it's not the right time, but can't tell you the correct time!
But if an auditor tells you the time,
it is probably for a different time zone anyway!


Science

A nanosecond is 1 BILLIONTH of a second.
To visualize this, light travels about
one foot in a nanosecond.
That's 186,200 miles per second
× 5280 feet/mile
× 12 inches/foot
÷ 1,000,000,000

No matter how close it comes to the Earth,
Mars will never look as big as the moon!

The folks who de-planeted Pluto
and made it a dwarf!, Dopey?


Murphy's Laws (he was an optomist)

If things can go wrong, they will, at the worst possible time.

If more than one thing can go wrong, the one that will do the most damage is the one that will!

A system that was fully tested before roll out, will fail during the demo to the boss!

Never underestimate the users' ability to try things that you never thought of. This will surely mess up the system!




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Saturday December 8, 2007
Copyright © 2007 by Joseph D. Korman
- The JoeKorNer